Bedlam Hooligan

My TV appearance discussing the Superbowl ads from 2010 on FOX 9...

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0600

My TV appearance discussing the Superbowl ads from 2010 on FOX 9 Morning News. Loved the Bridgestone spot with the whale, and the Audi green police. I know people love the E*Trade babies spots, but enough already.

The ghost of my Superbowl past.

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:36:00 -0600

It’s Superbowl time again. I can’t say that I’m the biggest sports fan beyond my own fairweatherness. And since the Vikes didn’t disappoint our choking expectations in the most idiotic playoff game ever, I’ll be watching the big game for the commercials.

I’ll be paying attention and taking notes, since I’m expected to give accurate commentary on the news programs on Monday.

In honor of America’s excuse to get drunk on a Sunday night, I’m posting my Staples Superbowl spot from 2004 “The Supply Room Czar.” The idea was inspired by a real guy in the office named Randy, who gave preferential office help to those who plied him with baked goods.

The commercial was well received by those who saw it. The catch was that not many saw it, since it ran just seconds after Janet Jackson was the victim of a “wardrobe malfunction.”

The cream puff mafioso was actor Joe Viterelli. Sadly, Joe didn’t have the opportunity to see himself on the Superbowl, since he died just two weeks after we shot it. But don’t feel too bad for him, he took half of his $120,000 payment in cash the day of the shoot, and flew to Vegas afterward with his much younger, asian “traveling companion.” Good for you Joe. Rest in peace.

Clean your nose clean your soul.

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:43:00 -0600

All inventions come from necessity. Here’s one that was evidently created when the only thing that would alleviate a nose full of boogers, was mom’s best teapot filled with saltwater. Invented by the ancient Yogis to cleanse themselves before twisting themselves into knots. It helps: “Cleanse the energy channels and balance the right and left hemispheres.” Let’s be honest, post nasal drip combined with the downward dog position created the need for another ancient invention, the mop.

According to the box, it takes practice, pouring the fluid in one nostril so that it flows easily out the other, a technique, that hopefully you master before drowning yourself with salty mucus.

The box is helpful, providing a photo demonstration, rather than an illustration. A proud moment for the model. I commend her on the ability to smile professionally while stuffing a gravy boat into her honker. I’m certain there’s a photo of me somewhere, from my college days, doing the same thing with a bottle of Moosehead lager.

So get the Neti pot not because you never know where your fingers have been, or because you can’t align your chakra with a farmer’s blow.

Get it because it’s how circus freaks pour a cup of tea.

Ideas can be frozen

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:34:00 -0600

Living in Minnesota, we learn to live without freshness. The craving for baby asparagus in February should be denied, or you’ll end up with tasteless cardboard sticks from South America.

A good idea, however, one based on human truth and motivation, is like beef jerky, will last a long time.

Recently, I brought out my concepting notebooks from my days at the big ad agency and started looking for dead bodies that might be resuscitated, and I found quite a few. Many advertising ideas lend themselves to other mediums. All you have to do is change the characters a bit. Turn “Mom” to an overworked choo choo train and “voila,” the microwaveable dinner commercial idea you loved, is now an original children’s book. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to write a teen novella about a small business troll that needs free checking.

Ideas don’t go bad, they just lose their impact if they’re too timely. The trick is to come up with ideas that don’t involve a reality TV parody, and stick to a classic idea. If it could have played in the Catskills by a comedian named “Arty,” it’s probably gold. When you get an idea like that, for heaven’s sake don’t throw it away just because the creative director can’t see its value for the new facial scrub website. Stuff it in a notebook and put it in the icebox next to the freezer-burned frozen scallops you’ve been meaning to eat, and save it for later.